I have to learn to accept the bad days.
This is something I am terrible at, it feels like I’m going to feel/be like this forever and I am never going to get anything done, or want to get anything done again. I might even stomp my foot and pout! I am going to lie here in my sofa that has become uncomfortable and feel sorry for myself forever. Nothing is fun, and anything I want to do quickly gets aborted because of exhaustion/pain/fever/nausea or whatever it might be today.
I am having one of those bad days, can you tell?
Yesterday I woke up with a fever because I am allergic to pollen and all the birches (aka my nemesis) had decided to suddenly awaken. So I got a handle on that and today I don’t have a fever, I have menstrual cramps and everything that comes with that, dizziness, nausea, lack of appetite and a mild depressive state. And the pain, the horrible pain, I have got it under control but it’s not like its not there in the back of my mind (uterus) at all times. And tomorrow I know is the day I bleed the most, and I will feel much better but I know that as soon as I try to do anything I will become dizzy, nauseous and exhausted, and the best thing to do is… sit still… on the couch… again.
This, the writing is actually helping, but that was not the point. I need to learn to humbly accept the bad days, do what I can with them, hope for better days and move on.
Humbly. Im way better at sarcastically.
As I have been researching service dogs I have come across two women that I can learn so much about this from, Jaquie from Chronically Jaquie and Mary from The Frey Life. They have service dogs because they have medical issues. I am so humbled and totally in awe about how they deal with their illnesses and their bad days. I will try to learn from them
I have to stop comparing myself to others, well or unwell, whatever I think “society” expects of me and see to what I feel and what I can do.
I’m not sure how to go about this, right now I am mostly feeling resentful that all my weekend plans got
screwed, drowned, fu cancelled, trying to breath deeply, accept the situation and be happy for the little things. This lovely cup of coffee for example, that is making me nauseous. I need to work on it. Obviously.
After doing some internet research I think I have come up with a loose strategy.
When reading what other people have written about “bad days” it first made me really sad, reading about people with, what I perceive as, worse things than me, and then horribly mad, reading about people who thinks that it’s all in your mind and “you just have to think positive”, excuse me, obviously they missed a whole category of people with actual problems!!
I don’t think the striking out of the words I want to say about those people will be enough… so I won’t say anything.
And then I came to a more calm and accepting stage, better right.
So my loose strategy is.
- To accept the situation, so, I can do those weekend plans another day.
- Try to feel the feelings, calmly and accurately, no exaggerating or diminishing, and move on, if possible, no pressure.
- Do things I know will make me feel better, the nature/bath/relaxing things, not the shopping/comfort eating things.
- Try to move about, just change location, or go stand in the front door smelling the air for a while. Or as my mom says, “get some sunlight in your eyes”.
- And do fun things that will take my mind off the bad day for a little while, like a great (not sad!) movie or a captivating computer game.
- Don’t beat myself up about it if I fail at any of these things, as I said, move on, try again, work on it.
- This too shall pass.
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