Category Archives: water

Tackling the Front Door

So what can we do about this looming front door and bottleneck of a hallway. How can we make this a little easier? These are some things that have been or are helping me get out.

  1. Have a plan: in a comfortable location, make a plan beforehand on where you are going to go and when, what you will wear, make sure you pee, drink and have a lip balm. Then just go through the bottleneck and front door at speed (trying) not to think about it. plan
  2. Know what you are going to wear and have it accessible.
  3. zriphoneIf you have a smartphone, make the walk more fun with apps that measure your distance and time, like runkeeper, or make it into a game with  zombies run!. Play upbeat positive music or listen to an audiobook.
  4. Make the walk more fun in other ways, like with walking sticks for nordic walking, or measuring how fast you can do a certain distance and see if you improve over time.
  5. Walk a small distance to begin with. When that feels comfortable, increase it just a little, seriously, very little, like 20m. And when that is comfortable increase it a bit more and so on.
  6. Are there any animals anywhere in your surroundings? Make a point of going by their pasture or garden to look or say hello.
  7. Or there might be something else you especially enjoy that you can make a point to pass, for me it is water.
  8. Have nice walking clothes and good shoes, stay within your budget so you don’t feel pressured to use them or anxiety that you are not. Ten tips to
  9. Walk with a friend and have a nice conversation on the way, maybe you can schedule a weekly walk together.
  10. Get a dog. Ok this one might be a little drastic. I for one is allergic, and there is a bit more to owning a dog than just having a walking buddy. But maybe you have a neighbour with a dog that wouldn’t mind you “borrowing” the dog for a walk now and then. And there are also organisations where you can volunteer as a dog walker. dog

I know that some, or all of these can feel totally daunting some days, I know I couldn’t ask my neighbour to walk his dog for example, and its ok to feel that way. Maybe one or two things on the list is possible for you. Maybe a few more on a good day, or with company.

The important thing is to keep trying and not to give up on the things we want to do. map


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Getting out The Front Door..

Getting out that front door…can be one of the hardest things I do all day, and some days I don’t even manage.

I am scared of leaving the house, its my safe, though slightly lonely and boring, place. But don’t underestimate the power of the safe place. The further I am from the house the more unsafe I feel, the more anxiety I have.

I am ok with going with my husband in the car. The car acts as a mini safe house, and usually we take familiar routes or I’m in charge of the map, and I know exactly where we are, which makes me calmer. But long trips are hard.

Its easier going outside with company I trust, then I can also manage to go further because they distract/calm me enough for me to not spend all energy on thinking about bad stuff that could happen, (fainting in a bush and not being discovered) or being in a heightened state of awareness (how long till I can get home, how much time) all the time.

But going outside myself, it’s a struggle. That door, that hallway, it’s a bottleneck for all my anxiety. What I won’t do to postpone passing through it.

I must have a drink, pee, lip balm, do I have my phone, is it charged, are the bunnies secure, I have the wrong socks, do I need a hat, what temperature is it, which route should I take, forest or road, how long, what If I meet someone, are the neighbours home to see me…

hallway

Sometimes this takes so long that it starts raining, I get hungry, decide to make dinner instead or just plain give up.

When I am finally outside I usually feel much better, and when I get walking, in nice weather with my headphones playing positive upbeat music, I sometimes even forget to be anxious. From time to time.

If I walk the same familiar route, when I know exactly how long it is, and how long it should take, I like walking.
When I get to walk totally alone, where no one can see me, I like walking.
When I feel my muscles working and feel strong, I like walking.
When I get to feel I’m one with the landscape around me, I like walking.

But the anxiety comes back when I start to feel tired, or start to think of exactly how far I have to go to get back home, how much time, how many steps.

Forest

When I walk in the forest, the anxiety lightens. I have to concentrate more not to stumble on something, there are animals to see, plants and trees, and I usually walk by my very favourite lake.

summer

Taking a break on the little run down pier and feeling the water, putting my feet in when it’s not too cold, that helps. Its like the forest has a calm, serene aura that puts a dampener on feelings, especially negative ones. And the lake gives me positive energy, enough to get home. This works best alone.

But that door…


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That swimwear issue again!

So we are back at that swimwear issue. I just can’t find one I like under 800kr ($100)!
I do have some really difficult though.

  • I want to be able to swim in it.
  • I want my bits to be covered, even if I move around.
  • I want a one piece suit…
  • …in a nice pattern/color…
  • …black doesn’t count.
  • I don’t want any “slimming” effect, or a skirt attached.
  • I don’t want to bother with a cup-size.
  • It would be nice if it had a nice/fun back, but that’s not necessary.
  • And finally I want to be able to dive into the water and do a handstand without showing/or being scared of showing any bits.

Doesn’t that sound like a quite simple bathing suit.
Apparently not!

I found this nice number, with cute pink fishes on it, half off and it was definitely fun in the back, it turned out it was a little bit to fun at the back, we were not made for each other, no, sadly I had to send it back. So now I’m a bit weary of too much fun in the back. I like my butt to be covered… interestingly.

DOYD0657

I have thus decided that surely I can sew one myself. There are great tutorials and patterns out there, and then I can learn to make just the bathing suit for me, several in fact, and definitely for under $100! And after I have mastered the sewing of the Lycra I’m sure I can learn how to embellish and maybe even make them fun in the back! Ha, take that swimwear industry!

These are the pattern with tutorials I am looking at, if anyone have any suggestion Id love to hear about it.

Angela KaneSwimming CostumeYouTube tutorial, simple but… simple.
McCalls 6759YouTube tutorial, I don’t know If I can get a hold of this pattern but the YouTube tutorial is great whichever pattern you use I think.
PapercutSoma SwimsuitWritten tutorials, though I don’t think this would fit me very well since I am curvy and have a large chest.

And I found a Swedish site that at least have lots of gorgeous solid colours of swimsuit material. Otherwise ill just order from farther away and wait, you can find lots of gorgeous fabrics on Etsy.

So wish me luck on this sewing adventure! If it does not work, I’ll be swimming naked!


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The value of a swimsuit?

So, I have no in-depth subject today…

I have sore muscles from an intense forest walk yesterday, that featured an adorable little horse, that made me all muddy when I was petting his nose while he was trying to eat my jacket, so worth it.
I really need to start walking regularly again, I used to be really fit for about half a year of my life, I’m such a couch potato. But I’m also getting older and feeling it in my joints, and now everything is a struggle. I don’t need to be running 10k:s or anything, I just want to have muscles enough for a healthy life, and to not feel so struggly. (Yes, I know that’s not a word) So regular forest walks it is, and some strength exercises here and there.

FECN2600

I have sunny weather shining down on what is not yet spring but brown trees and yellow grass, with a promise in the air. The birds are singing it, they know. And there is a hardy plant or two peeking up in the garden. My indoor seedlings are getting along so nicely they need replanting.
I love spring, it’s the same love I have for Fridays, you have all the glory of summer, or the weekend, ahead of  you. I love that. The hay fever… not so much.

IMG_5439

I have a knitting project going on, I am using my own ice dyed sock yarn. Below is a video I made documenting that incredibly fun process.
It’s nice to be knitting again. I have started three socks, I think, in the last months and never got any of them finished. I just stole my favourite needles for the next sock project that did not get finished. I just stole them again for this project, but this has solid reasons to get done, so I’m confident. I say confidently!

I have a swimsuit that did not fit. Sigh, it had lovely pink fishies on it. It was the right size and everything, it was the cut of it, we were just not made for each other.
So, the search is on for another one.. I have two in mind, one pretty and not very expensive and one gorgeous and more than double the price of the first one.
How do you value a swimsuit? I do swim a lot, and I love it, its my happy place, but still, it’s not on for that many hours total. But you have to be comfortable, feel nice, and be able to do a handstand in the water. What is the value of that?

DOYD0657

thevalueofaswimsuit

Cover photo by: Sean


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My own home

One of the most beautiful melodies ever written and sung, according to me, “My own home”preformed by Darleen Carr from Disney’s The Jungle Book.


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Icy day

I took the camera out this sunny Saturday by the icy lake Ömmern. I’m learning and trying, but I mostly stayed in auto mode on the camera. But it was very beautiful. Anyway it was a great day and I am so glad we got out to this lovely place because Sunday was all foggy and grey.img_9915img_9923img_9889img_9881img_9850


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