Category Archives: People

Day 30

Day 30:
Quote 71: “I’m the boy that’s calling your house. I’m the boy that’s freaking you out. With my thermal flask of tea. Up there in your neighbour’s tree.” Passenger

30bMaterials: Reclaimed brick and acrylic paint

day30

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Day 28

Day 28:
Quote 44: “She had eyes so blue they looked like weather.” Tom Petty and the Heartbreakers28aMaterials: Cotton string, concrete marbles, acrylic paint and wood glue

day28

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Accepting the Bad Days

Learning to acceptI have to learn to accept the bad days.
This is something I am terrible at, it feels like I’m going to feel/be like this forever and I am never going to get anything done, or want to get anything done again. I might even stomp my foot and pout! I am going to lie here in my sofa that has become uncomfortable and feel sorry for myself forever.  Nothing is fun, and anything I want to do quickly gets aborted because of exhaustion/pain/fever/nausea or whatever it might be today.

todaying

I am having one of those bad days, can you tell?
Yesterday I woke up with a fever because I am allergic to pollen and all the birches (aka my nemesis)  had decided to suddenly awaken. So I got a handle on that and today I don’t have a fever, I have menstrual cramps and everything that comes with that, dizziness, nausea, lack of appetite and a mild depressive state. And the pain, the horrible pain, I have got it under control but it’s not like its not there in the back of my mind (uterus) at all times. And tomorrow I know is the day I bleed the most, and I will feel much better but I know that as soon as I try to do anything I will become dizzy, nauseous and exhausted, and the best thing to do is… sit still… on the couch… again.

thereare days

This, the writing is actually helping, but that was not the point. I need to learn to humbly accept the bad days, do what I can with them, hope for better days and move on.
Humbly. Im way better at sarcastically.
As I have been researching service dogs I have come across two women that I can learn so much about this from, Jaquie from Chronically Jaquie and Mary from The Frey Life. They have service dogs because they have medical issues. I am so humbled and totally in awe about how they deal with their illnesses and their bad days. I will try to learn from them

laundry oven

I have to stop comparing myself to others, well or unwell, whatever I think “society” expects of me and see to what I feel and what I can do.

I’m not sure how to go about this, right now I am mostly feeling resentful that all my weekend plans got screwed, drowned, fu cancelled, trying to breath deeply, accept the situation and be happy for the little things. This lovely cup of coffee for example, that is making me nauseous. I need to work on it. Obviously.

today suckedAfter doing some internet research I think I have come up with a loose strategy.
When reading what other people have written about “bad days” it first made me really sad, reading about people with, what I perceive as, worse things than me, and then horribly mad, reading about people who thinks that it’s all in your mind and “you just have to think positive”, excuse me, obviously they missed a whole category of people with actual problems!!
I don’t think the striking out of the words I want to say about those people will be enough… so I won’t say anything.
And then I came to a more calm and accepting stage, better right.

how_to_belly_breathe

So my loose strategy is.

  • To accept the situation, so, I can do those weekend plans another day.
  • Try to feel the feelings, calmly and accurately, no exaggerating or diminishing, and move on, if possible, no pressure.
  • Do things I know will make me feel better, the nature/bath/relaxing things, not the shopping/comfort eating things.
  • Try to move about, just change location, or go stand in the front door smelling the air for a while. Or as my mom says, “get some sunlight in your eyes”.
  • And do fun things that will take my mind off the bad day for a little while, like a great (not sad!) movie or a captivating computer game.
  • Don’t beat myself up about it if I fail at any of these things, as I said, move on, try again, work on it.
  • This too shall pass.
  • Breathe.

breathe1


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Having a Haircut From an Aspie Point of View

I hate having my hair cut…
I hate not knowing what they are doing back there, they could be up to anything, and I hate when they tell me to take my glasses off so they can get it right by the ears. I’m practically blind without them.
Im in very great need of control, its my hair, I know exactly how I want it and I have to sit there, sharing small talk and letting them do their job…
that they have an education in…
and do everyday….
ok…
they might know what they are doing…
Maybe…

Yes, this is me with long hair. Hello!

I have had long hair for years, partly because then I didn’t have to go through the haircutting ordeal, and also, it was cheeper. And I liked my long hair. I learned to cut the tips myself.
But it was time for a change. I think I had the same hairdo for 15 years, ad or subtract bangs.

This is what I gave the hairdresser to work with. But skipping the lavender, I love the lavender, but I’m not up for the upkeep.

With the help of my sister and her very talented hairdresser friend, I took the leap and cut it all off by the shoulders… and you know… it looked great… I loved it, and she understood exactly what I wanted, talked me through it, and calmed me down, though she had to take my glasses off at one point. 😉 I loved the feeling of it skimming my shoulders.

This is me after, note the happy grin, and look how nicely I’m sitting, still wearing my glasses. 🙂

Now I have to do it all again, thats the problem with short hair. The great hairdresser is an hours drive away, so I thought I would see if the local one here is ok. Im scared, but at least the first cut is done, and she sort of just has to follow the “mould”. I don’t want to say/write it, but how bad can it go?

haircut5

So, as an aspie, what can you do to make it easier?
Well I start by telling them that I have aspergers, not everyone knows what that entails, but at least you have given them an indication that you are not the average customer.
I like to show pictures of what I had in mind, and also say that I am very particular and therefore a bit scared.
And I definitely tell them that I can barely see without my glasses and that I would appreciate it if they tell me as soon as I can put them on again.

Actually it usually goes great and becomes beautiful!

Havingn a haircut


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Sweden meets Terror with Love

Should I write about this horrible thing that happened in Stockholm this Friday?
A city I lived in for eight years and know very well. I have walked that street many times, I have been just inside that shop-window that the truck crashed into. One of my favourite cafés is on Drotninggatan where the truck drove.drottninggatan-jpg

I read today that one of the casualties was 11 years old. She walked that street every day from school to the subway.
The authorities were extremely meticulous when identifying the dead and injured so her parents didn’t know if she was just missing or if it was worse, until Sunday.

The Swedish people met terror with love.polis-nalle-jpg

I am immensely proud of my fellow swedes! Since the subway and busses stopped running and the city was closed, lots of people had to walk home. The hashtag #openstockholm was created where people invited the affected to their homes if they were stranded or felt unsafe, and others helped drive people home.

The Royal Family and the Prime Minister showed their respect with flowers at the site.

This Saturday people were leaving flowers for the people involved, and also to the police to honour their work.
Police Car With flowers

And today, Sunday, there was a huge manifestation of love, where thousands of people came to support each other and feel united.DRkkdMg7RyL1f7AAkP_TcePRXVM

I wonder if I am one of those people who freezes in the face of danger or takes action. I will never know until it happens, hopefully I will never know.

Swedes Meet Terror With LoveHaving Aspergers is hard in a situation like this. I have trouble shielding myself from these sad horrible feelings, and it is leaving me exhausted. I can’t watch a news show about it, feel sad and then move on. It sits with me and fester. Its doing no one any good.
But in the shadow of this terrible event I feel only love towards my fellow human beings, and grief for those affected.

 

I guess I had to write about it.


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New to the Bullet Journal

New to Bullet JournalingI’m new to this bullet journaling thing. Its called an Analog system for a digital age.

“The Bullet Journal is an analog system designed to track the past, organise the present and plan for the future”
-Ryder Carrol, the inventor of the Bullet journal.

All you need is a notebook and a pen, thought lots of people tap into their creative side and decorate with drawings, stickers, color coding and washi-tape. If you search Pinterest or Instagram you will find droves of creative or efficient bullet journals.

It’s not just a fancy notebook, it is an actual system to make your life easier and more manageable, I, as everyone else talking about the Bullet Journal, recommend that you go visit bulletjournal.com and watch the video and read a little bit about it. It’s very accessible and nicely explained.

One of the big points is that you start with a blank notebook and a pen and create a journal/calendar that suits just your needs, and also is adaptable if you want changes over time.

I had this very nice Rhodia lined notebook lying around doing no good. I got it with my also very nice Lamy neon coral fountain pen. They recommend, loosely, a dotted notebook, but really you can use anything you like, there are even notebooks made for the bullet journal to buy. My material side really wants one of those, but lets see if I stick to his or not first, also the rhodia is lovely.
See on the above picture that I have the elastic on the diagonal when it is really supposed to go vertical, that is a neat trick to get a place to stick your pen, smart right.

Bullet Journal10A title page, to see at a glance what it is or what year this book records. I’m planning for the future here. 😉 (I have a consistent tendency to give up on things like this after a few weeks, but Im hoping)

Bullet Journal9And a page for “belongs to” and a plea to contact me if someone finds the book on its own.

Bullet Journal8Here is my index, Innehållsförteckning in Swedish, and this you ad to as you fill your pages, you don’t have to number the whole book at once, just number as you go. I saved the next spread for the index too. The postcard on the left, I got ages ago from IKEA and it adds a bit of color and hides the scribbles from when I used the book before. Thats a good tip by the way; if you mess upp, cover it with a sticker or something. Its not supposed to be perfect.

Bullet Journal7The key is an integral part of the system and you can use it religiously or barely at all, whatever suits you, I went with the original system plus some color coding stickers, the monkey sticker represents the funny encouraging stickers I put on days I workout. 🙂
I recommend you research this if you are going to start your own bullet journal, to see which system appeals to you.
Oh, and the journal is in swinglish or svengelska, a mix between Swedish and English, since that comes most natural to me.

Here we have the “future log”, a compact calendar for the whole year, where you can write down birthdays, big important things, or things that will appear in a future monthly spread.

Then we have a few “collections” this is a very optional part, do it if you like or if there is something you want to track over the year. I have Books I have read, Social Media Tracker (not finished), Weight over time, and a page to jot down blog ideas. You can ofcours ad these in whenever and wherever you get inspired.
Bullet Journal1This is a monthly spread, I started now in April so I made the april spread of course. On the left side is all the days of the month with a letter for what day of the week it is, and above there is a tiny square calendar, if I prefer that visual overview, I don’t know yet.
On the right side are a few things I am tracking daily during the month, exercise, walks, cleaning and things like that. And lastly a place for notes. There are so many ideas out there on monthly and daily spreads, so just choose one you think you might like, and you can change it for next month if you find something better.

Bullet Journal2Lastly, for now, I made a weekly spread of this week. Here, also there are so many ways to do this, so research and find one you like, you can be as creative or as efficient as you like.
Monday through Friday are on the left, the giant giraffe sticker signifies that I took a Pilates class that day. Sunday and Saturday are on the right with a place for any notes for the week and some mood faces below, I will probably experiment a lot with the weekly layout. Some people want a whole page per day, but I just don’t have that much to do, so this is fine for me. 🙂


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